


Foolish

by Solos



Category: Ballybraddan (2009)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Beacon has some really good friends, Coming Out, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 06:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solos/pseuds/Solos
Summary: Beacons friends can easily tell when something’s up with him.





	Foolish

**Author's Note:**

> THIS MADE ME SAD. I reread this twice but there’s probably still grammatical mistakes anyways. Enjoy!

It’s 2am and everyone is asleep, except you, Solo and Ziggy. Soc is asleep on the floor, snoring loud enough for you to wonder how no one in the O’Cloherty house ever put him up for adoption. Socs snoring isn’t loud enough to out stage the movie you’re all watching though. It’s Solos favourite, he picked the movie, naturally since it is his birthday. 

You’ve been trying to focus on actually listening to the movie for an hour now but you can’t. Too many things on your mind. You turn to look to look at Ziggy and Solo. Zig is showing him all the cats he has in his app game, Solos going through all of said cats and saying all their names out loud and laughing. 

“Beacon you’ll like this one!” that snaps you out of it. Ziggy turns to show you a little cat sitting on a box, the cat seems to be named “Michael Pawlins”.

You laugh but it unintentionally sounds forced, Ziggy looks sad now. You’ve ruined the vibe Beacon. 

Solo asks what’s up and your blurt out a stubborn “nothing” but they both know better. You’ve been acting weird these last few hours and it’s all come to a head now. Ziggy puts his phone away and Solo crosses his arms. 

What is wrong with you though? You’ve been having a great time, but you’re a million miles away in your head. You tell them both that before you got here, you had a fight with Grainne, your big sister. 

“Oh” says Ziggy, but Solo lets further “what about?” He asks. 

You feel your face heat up and start to panic a little, your mind starts racing as to how you can back out of this conversation but you see no exits. The time has come Beacon, you need to say something.

You sigh and look away, earlier that day you and your sister were alone in the kitchen. Fiona and Mam had gone shopping and it had just been the two of you. You’re an odd combo but you love your sister, you trust her enough not to tell Mam but not enough to not tell Fiona when it comes to private matters. 

She’s talking about something an arsehole from her base class said. They were watching a video in CSPE about families in Ireland, and he made a “dick” remark about a gay family in the video. She was talking about loads of different things that the guy had said before, but that part stood out to you the most. And she noticed. Killed the vibe Beacon.

She ask if you’re ok because your spacing out and you say yes. She raises an eyebrow and says that it looks like you have something on your mind.

You chose right then and there to tell her that you’re gay. 

Grainne looks surprised for a split second before her face twists into a smile. She’s laughing. She’s laughing at you. Your whole head feels like a giant tomato and your older sister is laughing at you. You feel stupid. 

You demand to know what’s so funny but that just sets her off more. You’re furious it feels like your in hell it's that hot. She wipes tears away from your her eyes and begins to compose herself. “Oh Beacon...everyone knows that!” 

You on the edge of your seat, you think she expects you to lie back on the kitchen chair in amazement but you’re about to hop over to her side on the table and kill her. “What.” 

She begins to explain “like, Beeks - it’s kind of obvious” you stop her there. What does she mean it’s obvious, what does she mean “everyone knows” ? You tell her it obviously wasn’t obvious to him, since he only realised this recently. She laughs again. “I mean, we all see how you act around Dylan. We’ve known for years now” 

You’re going to die. She’s going to die. You may kill the vibe but Grainne was never one to read the vibe. She mentioned Dylan. You feel like your going to have a panic attack. 

You don’t want to believe her, you only realised this recently. How you are definitely gay and definitely have a thing for Dylan. But you’ve torn yourself up over that since you realised it. You sit up in your room at night thinking your a freak for wanting to hold a boys hand and your family are down stairs laughing at you. You can’t take it. 

Grainne knows when your about to have a meltdown, but instead of telling you to give over she worryingly tells you to calm down. You don’t appreciate her tone and you definitely don’t appreciate her sudden change in demeanour. 

You’re about to go apeshit, your nails are digging into the dinner table. Then Fiona walks in.

You both look surprised, in the heat of the moment you mustn’t have heard the car pull up or heard her walking in. 

“Mams in the car waiting to bring you to Solos” she says. You practically launch yourself out of your chair like a rocket and rush past Fiona, grab your bag in the living room. Then leave. 

You love your sisters, but you feel stupid. 

You don’t say anything to your mam in the car but the drive is quick. When you arrive you muster up a “love you” before you close the car door. She says it back none the wiser.

You’re back in Solos living room now and you’ve noticed that you’ve started to cry. Oh god.

Ziggy leaps up off the couch, jumps over soc like a rabbit and runs to the kitchen to get you a tissue. For a moment it’s just you and Solo.

You left out the finite details in the story, but recalling the full thing in your head set you off again. Solo has a hand on your shoulder and he’s asking you to breath. You’ve never cried in front of them before, not even when you won the championship did you ever cry. You feel even more embarrassed. 

Ziggy brings you a whole toilet roll and apologises that he couldn’t find anything softer. You thank him, still blubbering like a baby and blow your nose. They’re both looking at you now, like a deer in the headlights. 

A beat passes without anyone saying anything, just socs snoring and the hum of the television droning on. Before Ziggy pipes up and says “whatever you told Grainne, I don’t think she took it well” Solo nods and adds “yeah, she shouldn’t have laughed at you. Sounds like a dick move to me”. 

You feel the need to defend Grainne here but you are quite clearly hurt over her reaction to you coming out. Whether she meant it or not, it didn’t ease you in any way. Then again - how was she supposed to know about your gross feelings about yourself. She can’t read minds Beacon! But she should’ve known better! 

Your mental back and forth is interrupted by Solo asking you again if you’re ok. Ziggy and Solo are focusing on you the same way you tried to focus on the movie earlier. You sigh and look down.

You’re afraid to say anything but it occurs to you that you’re after spending the entire day thick as a plank at your best friend's birthday. Mulling over how your sister hurt your feelings and now you’re friends are worried about you. You don’t want to say anything. But you know they know better. 

“I’m gay” 

They both look surprised for a second. Then both their features soften. “Oh, Beacon!” Ziggy lets out as he lunged at you for a hug. Your the one who looks surprised for a moment before you finally hug him back. “Thank you!” He says into your chest. You’re laughing now. “Thanks for what?” You ask, nervously giggling. You feel someone touch your shoulder again and you look up and lock eyes with Solo. “Thanks for telling us, he means” 

The three of you are all hugging now and you feel like a balloon whose just been let go. And all the air is flowing out of you and flying across the room like a big red ufo. Ziggy says you’re so brave for telling them. You feel amazing, your laughter feels a lot more natural now. All three of you are laughing.

The laughter is abruptly stopped when something happens, and all three of you crash to the floor clinging to each other for dear life. All three of you are splayed out on Solos floor like idiots, your head is resting on Socs stomach and he sits up like a rake when you land on him. 

“WHAT’S HAPPENING” he shouts and you all just keep laughing, you feel like you’re going to get sick from laughing, but in a good way. 

“Did you not hear Soc? I’m gay” you say looking up at him, wiping the tears from your face. He looks down at you, and then just goes “Really? Deadly, me too!” That sets you off even more, and now Socs joined in on the circus. 

You don’t know what’s going to happen when your Mam picks you up tomorrow and you finally see Grainne again. But for now you’re living in this moment. It sounds blasphemous but you’ve never been more happy in your life, winning the championship twice wouldn’t match up with how elated you feel now. 

You push yourself up off Socs stomach and lay on the floor, propped up on your elbows.

“Oh and another thing-“ you say, a bit more sheepishly this time “I think I’m in love with Dylan” 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
